“Morgentoilette” (1841) by C. W. Eckersberg [image source: Wikimedia Commons]
Time to forget the maculature that lures you into buying stuff you don’t need by making you feel somehow defective. Those glossy pages are not about you. Maybe you can relate to them sometimes, but they are not about you.
Leafing through magazines, you cannot see yourself or even your beauty. You go through page after page of what others consider appealing, and often, when returning to your mirror and closet, your looks may seem inadequate. But, inadequate compared to what? And, why would you make that comparison?
No collection of magazines can reveal what a simple mirror can: your own beauty. Even if you don’t like the truth about your looks right now, knowing exactly how you are is the only realistic starting point for change. For example, when you want to lose weight, the first thing you do is weigh yourself, if you’re serious about slimming down. The only practical comparison you can make is to yourself, and, first of all, you need to know what you’re comparing yourself to.
Observe yourself in the mirror. Make a conscious effort to see yourself without judging. Don’t estimate, don’t categorize, just get acquainted with your exterior, get to know it well. Most women don’t know how they truly look, even though they spend a lot of time watching themselves in the mirror. Even slim women can have a distorted self-image. Be aware that your mental picture of yourself is always stronger than physical reality. So, with that in mind, take your measurements, step on a scale, assess your body from head to toe, writing everything down in a notebook. Very much what a tailor or a doctor would do.
When you know what you’re working with, it’s easier to enhance or tone down your features. If you don’t know yourself, it’s very likely that you’ll accentuate flaws and minimize your strong points, and you may think that you’re just horrible, but that would be a lie – a lie you validate with lies, go figure!
Style is a matter of balance. In order to be stylish you have to be honest with yourself, because you cannot achieve balance if you’re wearing clothes that are too tight, or too loose, or are totally unflattering for your figure. The same is valid for hairstyles and makeup. Just as you don’t use cosmetics designed for oily skin if you struggle with dry flaky skin, you should not wear anything that doesn’t suit you at this moment in time. Balance needs accuracy, and, with so many changes in a person’s life, we’re constantly in a balancing act that can please us only if we are self-aware and kind to ourselves at the same time. (It can be done.)
Beauty is not something you can achieve by pushing against your unique looks. Beauty already exists in you, and you can enhance it only by embracing and understanding it. Empower yourself from within, don’t try to build your confidence on a piece of cloth or a tube of foundation. With or without it, you’re still beautiful, no doubt or shame about it. The question is: what are you doing with your beauty?
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